I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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