The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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