its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize