DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
