'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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