Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
