Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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