tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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