erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
