talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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