I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I want is dick and wine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
