She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
