her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
