Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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