His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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