I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So many bounce houses so little time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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