i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Buhtt sex?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize