I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
