i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
