we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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