Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
