I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
id be glad to
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
