I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
