Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
