Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
