Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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