we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
