There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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