You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
