Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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