Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
