Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
