found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
