Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
