How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
