By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
