WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
