I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
