he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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