I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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