Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
