When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
