If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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