You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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