I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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