my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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