I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize