Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
