her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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