My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
