the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
