I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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