so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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