After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
