Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize