Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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