i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
