I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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