How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
