Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my liver is dry heaving
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
