u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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