Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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