Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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