suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
